Older sibling's helping to raise our children

 We all know parent's play a major role...

  In the development of our children, parent's play a big roll, however I have also noticed with our children. Ryder will copy Rebel all the time when she is home, he pick's up on her habit's and does the same thing's she does. After dinner Rebel used to have to empty her plate in the trash and rinse it off at the sink.  Ryder would try and do the same, he would empty his plate in the trash then try to get to the sink to rinse it off. 

 Since he isn't quite big enough to see above the counter this created a good amount of dishes being dropped in the sink, and him trying to climb the cabinet's to get to the sink and rinse his plate like his big sister. I had asked Rebel to stop emptying her plate and rinsing it, instead just set it on the counter and I would take care of it. About 3 or 4 night's of this happening and Ryder had quit emptying his and just started putting it on the counter.

   When Rebel is hyped up about something Ryder is right there with her, jumping and spinning like top's.

If Rebel is reading a book a lot of the time Ryder will be right there next to her trying to read along with her. These moment's I try to get her to read the book to her brother, which work's out great for both of them. As well when we are working on Rebel's flash card's Ryder will be sitting there trying to count the number's just like Rebel. 

  More often than not when Rebel is home Ryder will be following her around constantly, he loves his sister to no end. And I know it aggravates her at time's but I can tell she love's him just as much. They have a bond that I really hope never get's broken, it's great watching them play together. And for instance last night Ryder didn't want to stay in bed he wanted to get up and play, as I was walking away from tucking him back in he was crying and obviously mad at me because I wouldn't let him play. The I heard Rebel telling him It's ok to be mad at daddy bubba, but it's time to go to sleep I have school tomorrow. 

  Ryder had quieted down and wasn't trying to get up and climb the baby gate anymore, so I left them alone for about 30 minute's. Sometime in that 30 minute's Ryder had crawle    Nd into bed with Rebel and went to sleep, Rebel had her arm wrapped around him and they looked so cute. I could tell both of them were very happy, and instead of trying to move him and wake him up I let them sleep like that, at about 1:00 am Ryder woke up yelling, that's when I moved him to his own bed. And he slept the rest of the night away.

But we can't get down to their level.

  I think it may have something to do with them being closer together in age, and the younger sibling not looking at the older one as a authority figure. As parent's we scold our children for doing wrong, and praise them for doing right. But the difference I think is it's not on their level, we are older and have lost the true child in us. It's really not possible to get down to that level again, Try as we might we can get close but we as parent's have to know the boundaries. 

  For instance taking a bubble bath we know that if we dump the whole bottle of bubble bath in the tub and start splashing around it's going to make a huge mess and we will have to clean it up eventually. However as a child the thought process would be OHHHHHH let's dump the whole bottle in here because that will make more bubble's and then splash around in it cause that would be super fun. there is no worry about having to clean the mess up.  

  There in lie's the difference I think in how our role's in development differ, children have similar thought processes and are therefore on the same page so to speak. As adult's we are quite a few chapter's ahead of our children. And as nice as it would be to turn back the clock and be children again it's just not possible. Not even with a time machine, we would still have the same thought processes as we do as adult's.

   We can't really get on the same level as they are close yes but never really the same. With that being said encourage your children to be positive role model's for each other,  especially the older one's remind them that their younger sibling's look up to them and will do as they do especially at a younger age. But don't forget that even though you may not see it all of our children still look up to us as adult's.

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The Working Mom

     Hello all you lovely people. I am Mrs. Ray, also known to my friends as Anna. My husband has invited me to do a guest spot in his blog, and I have accepted. So let's get started.
     As all of you know, Raymond and I have a reversal of the "normal" roles, where I work and he is the stay at home parent. It wasn't always this way. For seven years, I was the main parent at home. I worked nights, and Raymond days, so I was the one usually up with our daughter, starting homework, etc. Then after our son was born, I was the stay at home parent, plus a caregiver to my grandmother. I cooked, I cleaned, I helped with homework, did laundry, attended school functions, parent teacher meetings and chaperoned field trips. I got up with the kiddos at night, but this was mainly because I was the food on demand.
     A little over a year ago, our world flipped upside down. Raymond, who has always had problems with his hips and back, got hurt at work. Hurt to the point that it wasn't better in a few days. It wasn't better after a week. After a trip to the emergency room and some X-rays, we realized that Raymond staying at his job was more of a risk than either of us were willing to take. It was only a matter of time until he had a spasm or his back froze up on him at the wrong moment, and he fell from one of the ladders or, heaven forbid, from a rafter over fifty feet in the air. So we decided that Raymond would leave his job and I would go back to work.
     I must admit, that first day, I almost skipped out the door. After three years of being with naught but children under the age of ten all day, and my most interesting conversations revolving around Mickey Mouse and Tinkerbell, I was ready to rejoin the world of adults. I found a job as a waitress at a local diner, and though I loved my job, I was not prepared for how much I missed my children. I was also not prepared for how nervous I was about Raymond staying at home.
     I knew what a handful our kids could be. I knew how hard it was to get dinner cooked and on the table, unburnt, while a six year old threw a soccer ball around the house and the two year old decided that he needed to cry at the top of his lungs because you would not let him climb on top of the washing machine.
     I think I called him fifty times a day those first few days. He would reassure me that everything was fine, and let me talk to the kiddos to assure me that all was fine. (Though at times I think he may have bribed them.) The first day, when I came home, he looked at me and said, "I am so sorry." He then explained how he had thought what I did was a cakewalk. And how wrong he was. I also apologized. I had no idea how hard it was to be away from our children for ten plus hours a day.
     The days passed, and slowly we adjusted to our new roles. I valued the time I had with our small family more than ever, and Raymond appreciated those few stolen minutes to himself. And he understood why I locked the bathroom door.
     Now, over a year later, we are firmly established in our roles. He has dinner on the table every night between five thirty and six. He helps our daughter with her homework. He schedules the parent teacher meetings and makes sure that our daughter has what she needs for school. He helps her pick out her school clothes the night before, and he does his best at doing her hair. Our two year old son can count to ten and can say his ABC's up to G. Our daughter is in the first grade and can read on a fourth grade level. He helped her take her math grade up from a very low C to a B and it is still climbing.
     He does wonderfully. He does much better than I ever did. I and our kids have clean clothes, he has only burned dinner twice in a year, which is far better than I ever did. The house is as clean as it can be with two children under the age of ten in it, and our kiddos are happy and thriving.
     Yet, when people ask what my husband does and I tell them he is a stay at home dad, most give me a weird look, and some even make catty or straight out unneeded remarks. One older lady once told me that in her day "a man who wouldn't work didn't deserve a wife." I politely informed her that my husband was willing to work, but we preferred that he be around to see our children graduate high school. Another woman, about my age, asked me how I could trust my children with a man all day long. When I asked her what she was implying she turned bright red and started stammering over her words. I told her that if I thought my husband the type to hurt my children or do anything to them that would negatively affect them, I would not have married him.
    I have seen all kinds of comments online, that not only confuse me, but infuriate me to no end. I have seen moms who say that a dad can't be a stay at home parent, because a man can not be a nurturing as a woman. Why not? Though my husband is more strict than I am, when my daughter skins her knee or my son hits his head, he is the gentlest person in the world. He is also the first to stand and applaud them when they do something great. Even the small somethings that no one else would find amazing.
     I have seen women say that any dad that stays at home must be a pedophile. WHAT?!?!?! Where is your reasoning in this? And if that is your first assumption about any parent, you need your head checked, because that is a YOU problem, not a stay at home dad problem.I hear women cry that a man is supposed to work, and these women are the same ones that gripe about equality. It's a two way street. You can not beat down men just to bring yourself up, because it will not work.
     I joke with my husband all the time and tell him he makes a better house wife than I ever did. And it is true. He balances things more than I ever could, and his one step at a time approach works better than my multitasking approach. He gets more done in a day than I would in a week.
     I am so proud of my husband, and support him. I support all stay at home dads out there who are trying to change this stereotype that only women can be good care givers. I will fight along side them to anyone ignorant enough to make remarks that put them down, and I will tell anyone who tries to put them down how wrong they are.
    I have a wonderful partner, who is great as a stay at home parent, he just happens to be a man.

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Support for Stay at home dad's

  After my wife and I decided it wouldn't do me much good to keep working due to my back and the pain it was putting me through, we switched role's. I took on the responsibility of being the stay at home parent and she went back to work. My first thought's as I'm sure has been the same for many people who have switched roles was this is going to be a cake walk. Well that's not the truth in ANY way shape or form. Being the stay at home parent is by far the hardest job I have undertaken, and I have had some seriously hard job's. Working on the circus, warehouse's, and about all of the trade's in the construction industry.

 None of them prepared me for taking care of two children and keeping house. And it's not just the physical labor or trying to keep up with someone 3 decades younger than I am, but also the mental stresses that come with the job. And to top it all off the back problem's I have do not help in the least.  I have learned a lot in the past seven month's almost all of it through trial and error. A lot of it because I didn't want to seem like a fool asking my wife about things. Which I also learned it doesn't hurt to ask, she had stayed at home with the kids for seven year's. She knew all the little tip's and trick's, and our kid's personality's better than I, because of the time she has spent with them. Lesson learned here: "The only stupid question is one left unasked."

  Beginning my adventure as a stay at home dad I felt as though I had no one to talk to. Having the wife at home when she is off of work is great, I love talking to her and spending time with her. But I was missing the companionship of the guy's being able to have a conversation that didn't involve Lightning Mcqueen, princesses, or barbie doll's. was really getting to me. Granted I love watching movie's with the kids and playing with them. But I was missing the adult element. Lesson learned here: Anyone who is staying home with the kid or kid's need's some type of adult interaction.

 One night I was waiting on my wife to get home, kid's were asleep and i was bored out of my mind. So i decided to see what I could find online searching for stay at home dad groups etc. I found a facebook group and immediately joined. After a couple day's of not seeing anything being posted on the group. I started searching again, and i was lucky enough to find a affiliate facebook group of the National at home dad network.

Facebook Groups:

Facebook group for stay at home dad's
 These guy's have been a life saver for my sanity. Thanks to all of you in our group!

Stay at home dad's UNCENSORED! 
As the name implies it is uncensored. you have been warned! but thanks to these guys as well

Northeast Ohio Stay at Home Dad's
A brand new group for Stay at Home Dad's in northeast Ohio.

DAM
Dad And Mom Blogger's. A group created by my good friend David. Also the guy who run's Dad All Day

Facebook page's you may want to Check out and like:

Mr.Awesome SAHD
Cuda's Facebook page. A pretty cool stay at home dad's Facebook page

Big Cheese Dad
Carl's Facebook page. He also has a blog listed below

Dad N Charge
Chris's Facebook page. He has a blog listed below also.

Just A Dad 247
Pat & Kepley's Facebook page. These guy's have a website listed below as well.

Geek Daddio of 4
Mike's Facebook page. Also the author of the blog site listed below.

Daddy's Nook
Yeah it's my Facebook site, but I have to take every shameless plug I can right!

Unfortunately there are not a whole lot of stay at home dad website's googling it will bring up a few result's but honestly from what I had seen most of the result's are not all that active.
Site's:

National At Home Dad Network
 A great website for at home dad's with plenty of blogs and reading to check out.

Dad 2.0 summit
A great site for blogging dad's lot's of helpful information and a great community.

Dad all day
My good friend David's website, Whom I have to thank for getting me into blogging.

Just A Dad 247
Pat & Kepley's website a couple of awesome S.A.H.D.'s, They have some awesome content on their site.

Enlightened Neanderthals
This is one I found googling one day but still haven't really checked it out too much. It does have a lot of post's on the site though.

Also I have found blogs some of which have made me laugh and some that have made me cry. It's a great thing to be able to find other's who we can relate to. So here are some of the blog's that have also helped me keep my sanity.

Nerdy at home dad's
Jame's Blog site. who is also a Doctor Who fan so you know he's cool!

Dad on the run
Eric's Blog site. I have read his post's great writing !

Big boned biker
Micah's blog site. Though he say's it's not dad related I seen where he has talked about his kid's and working out in the same blog's so it is dad related. HA! Micah I got ya.

Geek Daddio of Four
Mike's Blog site. Some great reading here too and that Pesto Veggie Pizza look's KILLER !

Big Cheese Dad
Carl's Blog site. Some good reading on here too. He also listen's to Chicago so he can't be all that bad right .

Cooking with SAHD
Phil's cooking blog. BRILLIANT! I seen a bunch of awesome recipe's on here and the sweet potato hash looked killer.

Dad N Charge
Chris's Blog site. Good reading here as well, and he called someone Crusty Yogapants! That's just awesome.

Designer Daddy
Brent's blog site. Some more good reading on this one. He also has a store on there selling T-shirt's all of the profit go to JJ's college fund. needless to say cool!

I Hope I Win A Toaster
Bill's Blog site. Yes it's a actual blog with some great content and idea's on it. I especially loved the idea of the time capsule email. BRILLIANT!

Not so much at home dad related but they are still authored by at home dad's so lets show them some love!

Elope Asheville
Another Stay at home dad working his butt off online to provide for his family. He also has a blog on this site it's worth checking out.


If you have found any of this information useful please share it with other's who may be able to benefit from it. Also please if you have any comment's I am more than glad to hear them, Or if you have a blog site you would like posted leave me a message. And thanks for reading!