Monday, July 14, 2014

The first week... Its time to quit!

Here is where it all begins. Giving up after 14 years.

Monday

 It's the first day of quitting smoking for me, so far it hasn't gone too bad. The worst part of it is waiting... The cravings aren't too bad though, I am able to manage it pretty well actually. I have been trying to keep busy when I feel like I want a cigarette and that in itself has helped tremendously. The worst is when I am sitting at the computer with a nice hot cup of coffee like right now. I want one, I guess because it has become so natural to me to smoke at these times. It had become a habit that when I was drinking coffee I would also be having a cigarette. But my willpower is stronger than my habit and I will stop smoking. There is no question in my mind about it, it has to happen not just for myself but for the rest of my family.

The Numbers

  I figured while the kids were taking their naps I would go over some of the numbers of my habit. These figures are based on smoking a pack a day, sometimes I smoked more sometimes less but I figured averaging it out would make it a bit easier to figure out the math.

14 years of smoking a pack a day turned out to be 102,200 cigarettes. WHAT!!! Oh my god that is a lot!

If you figure about five minutes per cigarette and smoking 102,200 in the past 14 years... I have wasted 511,000 minutes of my life smoking, roughly 8,516 hours I will never get back... Which turns out to be almost 355 days, that is close to a year of my life thrown away from smoking. 

14 years is 5,110 days and figure the average cost per pack is say $4.50... Wow that is $22,995.00 I  am honestly astounded... That's enough for a car or a house somewhere, and all of it just went up in smoke...

Those are some of the numbers, I am sure I could come up with some more. But right now I need to get back to my duties as a stay at home dad and get some chores done. 

Tuesday

The second day is almost over and I am going strong, keeping to my routine only smoking once every hour. Unlike yesterday I have noticed little cravings once in awhile between hours. Though they arent that bad, I have a feeling they are going to start getting worse though but I am going to fight my way through them no matter how bad they get. I am on the path to quitting and I am going to keep following it until I have smoked my last cigarette.

Wednesday

What a day it has been, the kids think it is a day to run rampant and try and test how far they can push the parents buttons. As far as quitting smoking goes I am still rocking it out only smoking one cigarette a hour. The cravings aren't going away between cigarettes actually I think they may be getting a little worse but it's kind of hard to tell right now. I have been thinking about this coming Monday, I will start smoking only one cigarette every two hours. I am not sure how it's going to work out, I haven't made it that far when I tried quitting like this in the past. Though I am going to succeed because it is time to quit and be smoke free. Positive thinking is my best friend at the moment!

Thursday and Friday

Things got off track.... Seriously off track, I had been doing so well with sticking to my quit plan. Unfortunately I had run out of cigarettes during the middle of the day while Anna was at work Thursday, It was seriously hard the kids had seemed to be doing every little thing they could to test my limits. Though honestly I am not sure it may have been the fact that I was craving a cigarette so bad when Anna had got home. In the end I had failed, I smoked 2 within 45 minutes of her being home. Friday wasn't any better, I was back to smoking on a regular basis and not the once a hour I was trying to keep to. 

The end? No not really.

I had failed yet again, it has taken me awhile to bring you up to date with this blog. I think part of it is because I was ashamed of myself. It's a really sucky feeling to know you have failed at something you want to do so bad. I want to quit and know that I need to but it is so hard. Life has been so stressful and smoking only adds to it. I am fighting a mental war with this, and I have lost this battle. But in the end I will end the war, I have to re-organize and strike out again. attacking the problem head on, I am going to try again and succeed no matter how many times I have to try. My allies are there for me to help me through this, and together I know we can win! So today I will begin again and as I said before no matter how much I have to I will keep trying to quit until I am victorious!

To those of you out there who are also trying to quit and having a hard time, you are not alone and there are others who know just how hard it is. If anyone has fought this war and won please feel free to comment below about how you succeeded, things that may have worked for you and may work for someone else. If you know anyone who is trying to quit please feel free to share this with them so that they can know they aren't alone! Thanks for reading I hope you all have a wonderful day!