Tuesday, March 4, 2014

How I met your mother and became the family we are

The year was 1998, I was working for the Ringling Bros. And Barnum and Bailey circus. Sitting in a room no bigger than a shoe box, really it measured about 4' x 7' I had just got my own room and didn't have to bunk with anyone anymore. I was in a yahoo chat room at the time, one of the many idiot's who trolled the yahoo chat room's came in. He was being a total jerk to all of the women in the room, I eventually got fed up with it and couldn't ignore it any longer.

  I keyed up on voice chat and said something to him, I honestly cannot remember what it was. But about 5 minutes later I get a private message from: sweetpoeticdream telling me that I owed her a new keyboard. Confused I naturally asked her why, her response was because what you said on voice chat was so funny I spit Dr. Pepper all over my keyboard and now it's ruined. 

 We became friend's instantly at the time she was in a relationship with someone else, but at that point in time we were just really good friend's. Over the years we talked atleast once a week, and if one of us ever needed each other we were there. We shared laugh's and tear's together, but it always seemed like our relationship wasn't meant to be anything more than a friendship. 

  As much as we loved talking to each other, and were there for each other through breakup's with other's. It seemed that one of us was always in a relationship with someone else. In 2003 we were less than 25 mile's apart, so close yet so far away. She was in a relationship at the time, and as tempting as it was we never got together. Then off to Oklahoma she went, thing's turned south with the man she was with at the time. We had naturally been talking, those short private message's turned into hour's of messaging. That turned into many night's of staying up till one of us had to go to work talking on the phone. We had made plan's to meet up in Florida but, thing's didn't work out as well as expected. I got a bonus from my work and decided you know what screw it, I'm going to go see her in Oklahoma.

   The entire flight my heart was in my throat, from the moment I stepped on the plane in Jacksonville I knew it was meant to be. There was no doubt in my mind what i was doing was right, granted we still hadn't met in person yet. And a lot of people thought we were crazy. September 2nd 2003 my flight landed in Tulsa, Oklahoma. My heart still pounding, and every step I took toward the door to get off the plane seemed like it was taking a eternity. The closer I got to the security area the quicker my heart beat. I was beyond excited, there is no word for what I was feeling other than love. I turned the corner in the terminal and seen her, our eye's met at the same time. There was nothing else I seen, I couldn't get to her fast enough.

  If you don't believe me you can find the guy whom I just about plowed over trying to get to my wonderful wife. I honestly did not see this poor chap who was walking right in front of me, but I think he understood when he seen us wrap our arm's around each other. We spent a week in Oklahoma, then flew back to Florida together. We had faced many obstacle's together, shared laughter and tear's alike. December 12th 2006 6:44 Am, our live's changed forever Rebel McCoy was brought into this world.

The doctor and nurse who brought you into this world would not quit arguing between themselves. I don't remember what it was they were arguing about, but I do know it had absolutely nothing to do with bringing you into this world. Or anything to do with us as a family. It was one of those power struggle's The nurse and I wish i could remember her name, had to keep apologizing for the doctor's lack of respect for the people in his care. She was a GREAT nurse though. and I can't thank her enough for helping us with everything, because I will tell you I was freaking out. The birth of a child is a amazing event especially when it is your own, however it is also a very scary experience.

   We stayed in Florida for about 6 more month's, then moved to Oklahoma to help take care of Mawmaw. As a family we have had many smiles and many tears, but things were going very well for us. We had everything we needed and quite a few things we didn't, but above all we had the love of each other. Which is what got us through the hard times. Love is a very powerful thing and can do some very magical thing's.

  May 11th 2010...  Was one of the greatest day's we had as a family, I had just got home from work and mommy called to let us know she was going to the hospital. I left you with Mawmaw and headed out the door to meet her at the hospital. By the time I got there she had already lost so much blood. We were at the Bristow hospital long enough to get her stabilized, then it was off to Tulsa I rushed home changed my shirt and and grabbed the hospital bag, then headed to Tulsa myself. When I got there I had asked what was going on and how she was doing, where she was, and when could I see her.... The hospital had no idea who I was talking about, we found out later I had beaten the ambulance to the hospital.

    They had me in the waiting room outside of the hospital's nursery,pacing back and forth for what seemed like day's wondering and worrying. Finally I got to see her, After about a hour the Doctor came in and let me know what was going on. I'm not going to get into all of the technical details. Raymond D McCoy Jr. was born prematurely, and he was in NICU. For two day's he fought as hard as he could, and we had hope that everything would be alright. Thing's were looking ok for him but there were still complication's.

   Then on May 13th we got the visit we were dreading... Jr. wasn't responding to the medications well anymore, and they could not give him more because he was so small. At that point, we had to make a decision, did we keep him here, in pain and suffering because we were so selfish? Or did we follow the advice of two doctors and let him go? He could not breathe on his own for long, his blood pressure would not stay high enough if he was not on the medication that wasn't working as well as it was intended. So we made the hardest decision we had ever made as a couple. Take him off of the medications. No more machines. It was by far the hardest new's we could have gotten as parent's.  That night, around 10 p.m., the NICU nurse assigned to our son called us.

 He was fading and if we wanted to be there, we could. We rushed to the NICU, and Anna held our son and sang to him as he slipped from this life to the arms of the Father waiting for him. She rocked him and sang until he took his last breath, and then we cried together. Though he was only with us for two day's. His little hand's had wrapped themselves firmly around our heart's.

Raymond D McCoy Jr.
May 11th 2010 - May 13th 2010
 Thing's always seem darkest before dawn, we had many sleepless night's afterward. And many night's of crying ourselves to sleep holding each other. This is one of the many place's the magic of love helped us through hard time's. But thing's did get better, time and love made sure of that. The healing was a long hard road, and in the end Jr is not always at the front of our mind's but he will forever be there. And will always hold a special place in our heart's. He is waiting on us we know that and that help's it doesn't erase the pain of losing a child. Nothing will and I wouldn't wish something like that on my worst enemy, it's something that no parent should have to endure and far too many do. 

  We talked to the doctor about whether we would be able to try for another child and their advice was no. It would most likely take both mother and child if we did. After about 6 month's of talking long and hard on the subject we decided to get the tubes tied... But when we went in for our consultation we found out, we had another child on the way. Now we were faced with a even harder decision. What to do, what to do?
The doctor had told us there was a very real chance of losing both of them if she went to term. It seemed like the hard choice's kept stacking up and again we talked and cried for hours on end trying to figure out what we should do.  Eventually we had made the decision that we would see it through to the end. No matter what happened God would be guiding us. There was no doubt about that, this is the way it was meant to be. 

  Thirteen years after I made her spit Dr. Pepper on her keyboard. We finally said our vows in front of god and the world on April 16th 2011. In front of pastor Archie Rivers at The Calvary Baptist Church in Bristow, Ok.  

Anna & Raymond McCoy
April 16th 2011

Five months of worrying and waiting later and me getting onto my wife for trying to do too much, after all she is quite stubborn and still being the stay at home parent taking care of Rebel. August 11th 2011, I had just got home from work when I was told "my water has broke." At least this time I was the one taking her to the hospital. We didn't even bother with the small hospital in Bristow instead I made the 45 minute trip to Tulsa in less than 20, I was able to be there with her while they did the C-section. And Ryder D. McCoy was born at 10:44 pm. Without any complications!

Ryder D. McCoy
August 11th 2011

 And that is the story of how we met, and became the Brady bunch... No wait that's wrong, however  it really is the story of how we met and became the family we are today. Through all the hardship's and tragedies we have endured together there is one thing that has held us strong. It's that little bit of magic I mentioned earlier. Love is a amazing thing, you can move mountains, touch the sky, or any number of other things you wouldn't think possible. Live, Laugh, and Love, it's the way life was meant to be. 

 I hope you have all enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it. even though it has taken me well over 3 weeks to finish it. If our story has touched you in some way please share it with your friends. And as always I look forward to hearing from you in the comments. Have a wonderful day!